"Nice blood, but I think it'd look better sprayed all over my face." -Snare Drum
No time for a formal greeting: we’ve found our favorite opening act for any local show ever. He’s a pirate. He plays the keyboard. He sings. He’s so good at both keyboard and singing, he’s been described as “the Billy Joel of pirates.” I can’t find a link anywhere online but the musical act known as Captain Scurvy was through and through both enjoyable and educational for those of us who were ignorant about the ways of pirate life.
So we’ve been playing shows the past few Saturdays in a row and it’s been boatloads of fun, but you may be asking yourself (a.k.a. I hope someday even one person asks themselves this): “What are The Good Excuses up to those other six days of the week?” Well, I will TELL you. But it’s going to be in the form of an absurd quiz I’m about to create off the top of my head. The answer will be nearly undeterminable, as it will be hidden amongst four very possible and perfectly reasonable scenarios.
This week, The Good Excuses have been:
A) Attempting to develop a new form of renewable energy that is created through the wondrous power of rock music.
B) Desperately trying to finish our recording sessions which go on forever because we’re obsessively in love with what we do and can’t let go of it until we know it’s perfect.
C) trying to go back in time using a car with silly looking doors to fight sentient computer viruses that appear as grim-faced men in expensive suits alongside sentient toys just trying to get back to their owner, while simultaneously rousing 300 over-excited and under-dressed spartan soldiers in order to throw down an evil wrinkly Sith lord and his half-man half-dog companion, using a mixture of comedic karate taught by both a mutant rat and an imaginary friend who happens to be Chuck Norris, while also fearing that the same day may just repeat itself forever in this quiet town of Punksatony where everyone has already been killed by zombies, but ultimately defeating said zombies along with Zuel, Zurg, King Koopa, the Scarecrow, Captain Hook and an unreasonably large great white shark, just in time to send an alien home, get back in bed before our parents find out we skipped school, and get back to the future for THE talent show, which is of course comprised of an outlandish Nintendo competition and an unlikely rock n’ roll performance by four guys from Erie PA, with the vain hope of winning the girl, saving the world, reserving a table at Dorsia, winning the local karate tournament, stopping the T-1000, and ultimately destroying the One Ring thus saving the galaxy.
Whoever guesses the right answer will be the lucky winner of a strong desire to have the last three minutes of their life back.